Right, so this monkey decided “hey, i’ll whack this on mum’s laptop for browser testing” (she uses firefox, you know “mum, that fox looking thing, that’s the internet, not the blue e thing”).
I jump onto the IE7 site (an easy enough thing, since it tops the IE7 search in google) and hit the “let’s go” button. Get a “small” installer. OR what I thought was a small installer. Turns out its just the installation manager. 14.8MB for an installation manager, very much much “W-T-F” coming through my head. I mean, how big is the complete firefox package again (for those wondering, you can get a shiny Portable FF 2.0 RC3 for 5.7MB or Portable FF 1.5.0.7 for 4.9MB. That’s the complete package. Know what’s going through my head right now? Yeah, that’s right “Can Microsoft spell ‘code bloat’”.
But it gets better. I open up the installer. After signing my life away that it’s ok to know precisely what’s on the computer yadda yadda yadda I get to the install. Can someone tell me what the bloody hell that little blue dot that runs left to right (and then starts back at the left and goes right again) in a silver channel is actually doing (see above - it’s in the teleporter at this point)? Because it’s not telling me how much longer is left. Erm, note to Microsoft, the reason people put shiny things moving left to right into any installer or preloader or what not is to give an indicator to the user (you, know, the monkeys who end up using your products) as to how you’re shiny bloated installation manager is going. Whilst the lovely blue dot is doing laps (well, it’s not really laps because it magically teleports to the left after reaching the finish on the right), I’m being told that the installation files are being downloaded (yes, that’s right, your 15MB file isn’t actually doing anything but taking care of the downloading of the files to install).
So, I go along and update a few other things at the same time - as the computer requests this monkey, a windows update, the lappy doesn’t get out too much, and the update to the antivirus, again, lappy doesn’t get out much. Dum, dee, dum. The two of those chewed through about 50MB and the IE7 installer is still installing. That’s another thing, while our teleporting-lapping blue dot is running left to right, there’s not too much information coming from the installer. No “XX.XXXX of YYY.YYYY Downloaded”. No percentage indicator of the download. Nothing. Information black hole. I go make a cup of tea.
I get back with my tea and am wondering where we’re up to. Apparently downloading is finished and we’re going through the install. Does anyone know exactly how big this bloody thing is? Also, why the hell not make it a new browser entirely - built up from scratch like the successful new products of the XBOX and (maybe) the ZUNE? Why does it have to overwrite the existing software?
Eventually, well after my tea had been finished, it finally asks me to do a reset. Ok, sounds normal. Microsoft usually likes the monkeys to turn things off and on to get things to work. So I do it. Back on. IE6 is still there. No IE7. Mum needed the laptop and I’d had enough so I’m guessing (hoping) something went wrong somewhere. I suppose updating things like the Operating System at the same time as something that shouldn’t be integrated into the core system (a program called IE6) may have done something (anyone confirm this?) but not liking that idea.
So I’m yet to play with apparently superior product of IE7. It’ll have to wait a week but had to put it down.
Finally, for your amusement, more monkeys.
Photos: windows installer courtesy of John Kimble at flickr and cup of tea courtesy of Jeremy Keith at flickr.